Recently I found out that a good friend’s husband sexually abused her sister and a niece when they were adolescents. She is completely devastated at this horrible news and feels guilty because she was the one who invited her sister and niece to spend a few days at her house during the summer several years ago.
As she told me about this, feelings of rage began to well up in my chest and wanted to spill out all over the place. I had considered her husband a friend, he had been to my home many times, and I had trusted him. My friend’s pain was my primary concern but now I’m dealing with my own feelings of disgust and even hatred at times. I know we should not hate the sinner but hate the sin…but I’m having a hard time with that one. They live in another country so there’s no chance I’ll bump into him and be tempted to hit him, but these horrible feelings are still here in my heart.
A heaviness for my friend’s pain lodged on my shoulders and I couldn’t sleep. The rage took over my mind and clouded my concentration for days. Yesterday I wrote him. I probably shouldn’t have, at least not while I still had these feelings inside. I told him he was a monster, a rapist, a child molester. I was not kind.
Now I’m processing not only what he did, but what I’ve done.